Austria. A beautiful land of mountains, music, snow and tradition. Judging by our recent experiences, add paperwork and excruciatingly slow governmental departments to the list.
There's no doubt that we feel lucky to live here and the level of state support is pretty amazing, but the way some parts of the system work are totally exasperating.
Our son is now four months old, and we are only just past the halfway point of obtaining all the documents necessary to receive child support. We have applied for nine different bits of paper and been to five different regional and government agencies. Each bit of paper applied for has required other bits of paper from myself or my wife, some of which we have already, others we have in turn had to, yep, apply for.
The papertrail illustrated.There's no guidebook or central database. None of the separate departments appear to have any contact with each other. The best technique to getting a particular document is to file an application, get rejected and start searching out the required documents listed on the rejection letter.
It all began with our baby's birth certificate. When he was born, our passports were sent direct to the Standesamt (registry office). We soon received a call from the aptly named Frau Teufel (Mrs Devil).
We needed a stamped marriage certificate from New Zealand with an apostile. No, I didn't know what it was either but I can now say that it's basically a wax stamp like what people used 200 years ago to seal letters. Apparently the marriage certificate that we had used across the world for the past four years was not good enough.
Two weeks and €100 later we got the certificate with a fancy looking ribbon attached as well as the apostile. The 20-odd words written on it then had to be put into German by a Standesamt-recognised translator before we could go back to the devil woman for the birth certificate.
Next step was to get his Aufenthaltskarte (visa) from the regional government, but for this he needed a passport. Quickest and simplest option was to get a New Zealand passport (his mum is a Kiwi) from NZ house in London.
Obviously a passport photo was essential and we drove into town to an approved photographer. Unfortunately he was fast asleep in the photographer's studio and it took some effort to wake him. A few wet fingers stuck in his ear finally got him to open his eyes and the camera snapped a lovely shot of him looking both suspicious and confused - an image that will be stuck with him for at least the validity of one passport.
It took about a month, partly because we also needed to prove his citizenship and try and find a person of standing to say that they could verify his identity.
"Let me in guv!" Baby and passport.In the meantime we registered him as a resident with the village council (called a Meldezettel) and also sent off something to another agency for his 'immunization cheque book' - basically a book with vouchers that you hand in every time he needs an injection.
His social insurance card turned up too. Admittedly we didn't need to do much for this one. We must have signed something at the hospital because it just arrived in the post.
Once his passport arrived, wife and baby headed off to the district commissioner for the visa, which would give him permission to live in Austria. Another form and a wait of a week and that was ticked off.
The baby now has four separate forms of ID and we are just two steps away from actually receiving child support, but it's at this stage that the most obstinate and pedantic departments come into play.
From the Finanzamt (inland revenue) we can claim a tax benefit called Familienbeihilfe. Once that is done we can go to the GKK for Kinderbetreuungsgeld (child support). Unfortunately the Finanzamt have demanded about ten different documents and are showing themselves as the meisters of unhelpfulness.
Now being half-Austrian I'm the first to defend alleged xenophobic attitudes and I'm sure they are rude with everyone with the misfortune of walking through their doors, but there's no denying these guys are no fans of foreigners. It's like they feel they are guarding Austria's vaults from immigrant bank robbers.
After asking one of the school matron-esque women on the 'customer service' desks if they could explain the complexities of their requirements in English, my wife was met with a curt "no". Fair enough, This isn't England or New Zealand afterall.
"Könnten Sie bitte langsamer sprechen?" She asked - could you please speak slower?
"Nein."
The wife has now been into their offices twice and been told in lightspeed German to "Go get another document-with-a-really-long-name we didn't mention before. Next please!"
The most recent rejection and uncalled for rudeness brought my wife to tears and caused the baby to puke on the floor.
So that's the status: another document to find. But we refuse to be beaten. If we have to, we'll fill out every long winded, stupidly long named form in the country to get the child support that every other tax payer in Austria gets.
More ranting soon.
